I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
