her vagine was all disorganized.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
