ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
