Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My penis needs a shock collar
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
