hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize