So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
