I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
