is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
