if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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