im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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