I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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