I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
