U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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