party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
