Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
