I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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