i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
