If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
