Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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