I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
