also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
