Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
