How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
