first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
