Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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