Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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