I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
