I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
