i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
