Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
