In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize