I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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