im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
