I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
