oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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