I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
