am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
