some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
