you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
