And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
