I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
