I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
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