Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
