oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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