i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
