your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
