Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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