I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
