; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
