So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
