I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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