Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
