They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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