So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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