maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
