he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
