what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
