She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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