I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
