If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize