i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
