Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
