Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
